Well, it's summer time!  It's finally warming up here which is great.  We have planted and landscaped the around the house and it is looking great.  I'll have to post a new picture of the house sometime soon. 
Josh is out of school for the summer which is great and we get more time to spend with each other.  We are planning a small vacation this summer for our 3rd anniversary.  I can't wait to have a few days off for an actual vacation!  The last times I have had off work have been for hospitals, surgeries, and funerals.  
Everything is going fine at work.  One of the girls from our office her last day was Friday and so now we are trying to cover jobs and hire someone.  I hope it is soon because I am main job backup.  It will be nice to have a new person in and get to know them. 
Well, not much else to say except I can't believe that it is already JUNE!

It's been so long since I have written.  Mother's Day came and went, I am so glad it is past me.  This past Mother's Day I would have been a mother to twins, and was my first without my Mom.  It was quite difficult.  I do have a friend who has been helping me through some of my emotions (mainly anger).  I know I just need to work through it all and will come out on the other side hopefully sometime soon.
I go all my test results back and they were all negative (meaning they were not the reasons for my miscarriage).  So the doctor told me to wait at least two cycles before even attempting again if we even so desired at this point.  They also prescribed a hormone pill and baby asprin to take once we start trying.  Everything in my body still feels way out of wack, but hopefully after a few months will finally be back to normal.  It is so hard when you do not feel normal to live normally. 

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
by Casting Crowns

Well it has been nine weeks since.  I went for bloodwork last week so they could figure out if I have a medical condition that would cause me to keep loosing my babies.  It took 2 days and 5 pricks with a needle for them to get 12 tubes of blood.  I won't know any results probably for 3 weeks when they get all of the tests back.  I just hope they don't have to take blood like that again anytime soon. 

Life does go on, although it is a strange experience.  It is slightly easier to get through each day, but the hurt and pain is so strong.  I still get really upset when I see pregnant women, or new moms enjoying their babies, or songs talking about God being so good and wonderful and blessings blah blah blah.  Life is not happy go lucky and those people who have written those songs have not been though what I have.  Not to be a party pooper on all the "yeah oh happy day" God songs, but that's the way I feel.